Too often, we find ourselves in situations where we feel controlled by others and unhappy. But how does it come to this? We’ve unfortunately forgotten how to listen to our intuition. The question we should all be asking ourselves is, "Do I really want this?" Do you feel a deep need to find your own path but don't know where to start?
In a world full of expectations and norms, it’s easy to lose sight of our own way. But deep down, you feel that something is missing—a true connection to your authentic self. True happiness and fulfillment can only be found when we listen to our inner voice and live authentically. This article is for you if you’re ready to break free from external control and take back control of your life.
It’s time for you to become the creator of your life and consciously shape your path.
What does external control mean?
Too many of us shape our lives according to the expectations of others—whether through societal pressure, family expectations, or professional demands. Maybe you feel like you’re making decisions that aren’t really your own but rather the result of what others expect from you. Often, it’s deep-seated, limiting beliefs and fears that prevent us from walking our own path. Perhaps you learned as a child that it’s more important to please others than to pursue your own wishes and needs. You feel like you’re on a hamster wheel, fulfilling duties and expectations that don’t align with your values and desires. You go through life with the mindset that everything happens to you. You play a passive role and believe you can’t actively influence your life. I call bullshit! Do you really want to live like that? Letting others shape your precious life?
How do I break free?
The first step is always self-reflection and acknowledgment of what is. Only when you open your eyes, look around, and take stock can you recognize what’s holding you back. Don’t know where to start? Try journaling, meditation, or open and honest conversations with trusted friends. This can help you gain more clarity about your true desires.
What is really important to me?
Your values are the compass that helps you stay on course. Are you 100% behind the things you have in your life day in and day out? What is truly important to you in life? What qualities, principles, or ideals do you want to embody in your life? Write it down, then look at your current life. What would you need to adjust?
There are many other exercises that can help you easily identify your values. Once you know them, you can consciously shape your life. You make more conscious decisions that align with your inner self. This not only gives you strength and energy but also deep satisfaction because you know you’re walking your own path.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to turn your whole life upside down—small changes can be just as effective. Try new routines, hobbies, volunteer work, or meeting new people who bring more meaning and energy into your life. A life with purpose gives you more energy and motivation and makes your life more colorful. And who wants to live a one-color life anyway?
How do I find the courage to walk my own path?
Courage is an essential component of becoming the creator of your life again. Change often requires us to leave our comfort zone and face the unknown. It’s normal to feel fear and doubt when you embark on your journey. Meet them with openness and ask them what they’re trying to protect you from. Question them and accept them.
Pro Tip: Don’t wait for the "right" moment when you feel ready. Spoiler Alert: That moment will never come. Become aware of the price you’re paying if you continue on a path that doesn’t align with your innermost self. Are you happy with it? Is it worth it to you? Or do you tell yourself that you’re worth more and want to shape your life differently? Then do it! Adopt the motto, "Fail cheerfully!" Give your life a leap of faith and let yourself be surprised. You’ve got this!
I can't do this alone!
Take a deep breath. You are not alone. We all have people in our lives who inspire and support us, especially when you choose your true, authentic path. When was the last time you talked to your loved ones about your deepest wishes and dreams? These wonderful, deep relationships in our lives can provide us with tremendous strength. They can give you the support you need in times of uncertainty. And if you’re looking for a life coach to help you create clarity and focus together, I’m just one click away!
Learn to say "No."
Sounds impossible? It was for me for a long time, too. But setting clear boundaries helps you focus on what’s essential, conserve your energy, and avoid external control. Without clear boundaries, you risk others taking control of your life. Boundaries not only protect you from overwhelm but also help you consciously focus your energy and concentrate on what’s important to you.
Start with small steps. Say "No" to the plastic bag at the checkout, "No" to the 10th unnecessary team call, or "No" to the next coffee date with a distant acquaintance. Learn to say "No" when something doesn’t align with your values and needs. Be aware that you don’t have to please everyone and that it’s important to prioritize your well-being. With every "No" to your surroundings, you give yourself a "Yes" and make room for your own needs.
Gratitude and mindfulness as game changers
In our wild daily lives, we can quickly lose our footing. Take conscious time several times a day to incorporate small moments of gratitude and mindfulness. Bring yourself back to the moment. Change your perspective. Live in the moment and be grateful and proud of everything that is right now. You can use breathing exercises, meditation, a gratitude journal, or other small rituals for this. Spend time in nature to naturally reduce stress and connect with yourself. We only have this one moment in which we live today. We never know when it will end. So make the most of it!
Where am I headed?
Important question! What if you were guaranteed to be living the life you’ve always secretly dreamed of in three years? With everything you’ve always wanted and more. What would that look like? And how would you live your life differently today? How would you shape your day tomorrow? How would you talk to yourself? How would you spend your time? Who is by your side?
A life vision helps you set long-term goals and focus on what’s essential. It gives you the motivation you need to keep going, even in tough times.
Take the time to think more deeply about what your ideal life would look like. Write down your vision and develop concrete steps to make it a reality.
Your path is unique and constantly evolving. It’s about continually returning to your path, taking small steps in the right direction, and staying true to yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but every little step counts. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grow and learn in your own way.
You have the power to take back control of your life and live authentically. 👑
You are the creator of your life! 🌱
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